OP: Your coworker is a jerk. Heh, I actually really hate the smell of Febreeze myself. Agreed. Life is hard enough without complaining about the scents that dont try to kill me. Just dont feel bad anymore, because short of quitting, you can only do so much to accommodate your co-worker. Love it! For real I understand if people *like* the smell of Febreeze, but seriously, its not some magical odor-disapperating powder, so dont act like its automatically preferable to any other strong scent. Lets figure out something you can do to make yourself more comfortable.. Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. I used a watermelon LipSmackers a little more than usual one day, and got a terrible stomach flu that evening. The specific patchouli comment is was does it for me. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. I have encountered commenters, here and on Corporette, who fully believe that scent free is the way to be, and that the world would be better if everyone cut scented products out of their lives. Im also all for respecting that people respond differently to things so I hope this isnt just me going off my own instincts, but I think banning wearing perfume and colognes in the workplace is acceptable in a way that banning lotion and dryer sheets and bodywash at home just is not. I can tell you, its really hard for me not to come across as rude. I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. And Im certainly not going to be a jerk about it. However, genuine allergic reactions arent necessarily going to manifest in front of their sourceits not all doubling over in the moment. The longer we are exposed, the more affected and sensitive we are. And negative associations with patchouli? . It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. Luckily for the me vs. scent sensitivity problem a lot of added fragrances give me issues as well so generally you cannot smell any of my stuff unless youre WAY up in my personal space. While a coworker may undermine you at work because of any . Blowing is fine--sniffling is a killer. Unscented my butt. I dont know what shes smelling, but Ive done everything I can reasonably do to accommodate her needs. Then again, here the people rocking the strong scents tend to be older and more senior in the organization. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. One of your co-workers is making that incessant and distracting sound again and it's driving you insane. The other coworker who was complained about took an internal transfer. If she thought I was gone for the day, shed even use my cubicle as a spray booth for whatever reason. Another thing that helps is do things that help hyperventilating - like holding breath for a bit. Do you think you could calmly sit there for another 10 minutes and go into detail about what the smoke and fire will do to you?}. The following Monday, though, I noticed the scent was strong again, so commented to her about it. Your nose is a faucet, and theres no way to turn it off. They have to go out in public and buy groceries, get gas, go to the doctor, and basically interact with a whole plethora of other humans and nonhumans who all emit various smells. A friend of mine had always had the sniffles. If her scent doesnt bother you then maybe you can try it out and if you dont mind it, then theres no way for her to complain. I had my last root beer float at age 9 or so, and I will never eat another one as long as I live. Exposure to substances such as smoke, fragrances or household chemicals can sometimes cause congestion and inflammation in the nose. She was here before me, and Ive been here three years. Otherwise, theres a whole other layer of gross here. Download Article. Depending on how sensitive your coworkers allergies are, this can get extremely complicated. If you were my office mate, LW, and told me youd done all of this, Id be thanking you, even if I was still being triggered. I dont think its reasonable to expect people to completely change their entire lifestyle around outside of work, just to accommodate someone at work. About 75% of Smelly Things gives me a headache, so I have a slight aversion as well. Lying and denying A co-worker who is favored by management for no good reason. Scents like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes. Many cleaning products made me gag or gave me a headache, I couldnt stand the smell of my old shampoo anymore, and I had to go sleep elsewhere the night my husband made cabbage in the crock pot. She . We havent had any disagreements about politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike me. patchouli is hard to remove. She might be unwittingly attributing what she smells to you for the simple reason your scents bothered her. Maybe your coworker is just rude, but if blowing my nose would fix the problem, I would do it. (Though I do still wonder what it takes to teach kids to chew with their mouths closed). And has had it since he was a child. It's a personal issue and you won't like it but it needs addressing and I don't want you to react badly OK? I do have a sweater that lives at the office, and I took it home and washed it after she complained. Another thought that just occurred to me is a cloth car seat, so maybe while the clothing items were washed, perhaps its being transferred from other places. Ive never complained, as I realized theres not much he can do to change it, so I resorted to using some (in my opinion) very mildly scented body lotion on my neck before I come in to work so I can smell that instead of him. Should I just ask to move elsewhere on the floor? Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. Ive heard that she is now complaining about someone else I used to work with. The people who sniff every 10-20 seconds, all day, every day, of their whole lives. I really can't take it anymore. Because apparently I couldnt resist saying that chicken definitely has at least as much innate flavour as any other meat, just different. The employee still kept reporting to HR that I was spritzing perfume in my cubicle and even alleged that I was purposely spritzing her cube while she was away. I eventually left for another job and Im told she left right after. Freshly applied perfume, sure, thats reasonable to ask people not to do. And they find a way to deal with that.because they cant control it. Ive done X, Y, and Z. For instance, I became a super-smeller when I was pregnant, and lots of things suddenly started to smell vile to me. It doesnt make sense that OP needs to suddenly cut out all shampoo and all bath products when seemingly everyone else can use them without judgement, including us. I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! My MIL uses a very nicely scented oil diffuser in her house (several, actually, its a big place) and whenever my husband visits I can always smell it on him and all his clothes, even after a plane flight. Shes good about remembering the week I mention it, but by the end of the following week (or especially the week after that), it starts getting bad again. My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. If youre one of the 35 million Americans who suffer from hay fever, read on for what plants are to blame, where to find them and how to get relief. to accommodate an employee, but I wouldnt deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress. BUT youve gone above and beyond. Or he is ready to take the risk of dating a coworker. Is your manager willing to get the company to pay for your shoes and chair to be professionally (and secentlessly) laundered? This fear of imperfection keeps the Rooster on the fence. What she doesn't know is that I love to sniff all her friends shoes. I cant say that Id ask anyone who burned them at home in their free time to knock it off just because I didnt like the smell though. If I was told to go scent free, I would expect my office to pay for the price difference between my affordable scented products and unscented products, which usually cost more in my experience. Thermostat Wars conveys what Im trying to say so much better than I could!! If so youve gone above & beyond & youre under no obligation to do more. The OP already did the reasonable thingsshe stopped wearing perfume and scented oils, she switched to mainly fragrance-free cleaning products, and as far as we know she doesnt even have anything around that smells like patchouli. Even the most lightly-scented of shampoos can leave a smell. Im not trying to like, lecture you, but I really think more people should be made aware of just HOW BAD Febreeze is. But yeah, some smells cling to clothes through the laundry. My female coworker puts on a lot of perfume. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. Im aware of it even if its barely an element of the scent. Other possibilities include shampoo/conditioner or lotion. She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. When she complained, I told her she could either get a doctors note and take it HR, she could quit, or she could go pound sand. I only hope people can try to understand and have some compassion for people like us. If youve been sniffling for weeks or months, you can rule out a cold, Dr. Reisman says. My friend worked a really hellish retail job one Christmas. I agree with the other posters who mention getting a second opinion and Alisons advice to bring in your manager to mediate. I think society in general is getting odd about smells. OP do you have a coat, shoes or bag that might be holding onto the smell? i think many of the suggestions here are verging on unreasonable. * Diets heavy in certain foods like onions and garlic (yum) may give strong body scents. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. Sniffing is one of my triggers to, whenever I her even one small sniff I get a huge panic attack. I think a lot of people like the stuff you put on chicken; by itself, it doesnt taste like much. If I were OP, Id be tempted to say, Patchouli? I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. And honey. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. Someone who sits near me is forever grunting, snorting and wheezing. Washing with unscented or mildly-scented bath productsmaybe reasonable, depending sometimes the only shampoo/conditioner that works well for someones hair has an unavoidable scent and I dont think its reasonable to expect someone to figure out an entire new hair routine (which is a process that takes time and money and trial and error, not to mention bad hair days in the interim, with the concomitant hit to self-esteem that may cause) to accommodate a coworker. Or she may simply be nuts. Actually, I think the OP has taken more measures than are actually reasonable and that the OP has really bent over backwards on this. and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. Its quite another to pay a bunch of money on things like carpet cleaning, new mattress pad, etc., in the hope that it might appease the coworker. Consideration and empathy cut both ways. Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. Ah well. Theres no perfume smell, it smells very natural to me. I would love to see someone tell all my coworkers who smoke that they have to quit because Purple Jello has an allergy.). I love that Coppertone smell! Maybe a therapist is in order? Sigh. I hope this works out and she backs off, but either way, as a scent-sitive person, thank you so much for going through all this effort. I was thinking that too. Weve worked together on this project for about six months, and been in the same office for about three years? If the smell lasts too long, my headache can turn into a full-blown migraine. I'm 12 I have the same problem it started like a year ago it drives my mam mad I really want to know what's causing it, Im only 14 and I sniff all the fricking time its really annoying and I carnt take it anymore. However the company could send an office-wide email advising folks be aware of strong scents causing issues. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. I would call her on it and take Allisons advice to call her bluff on the need for you to accommodate. Issues are raised. OP has done put in a ton of effort to alleviate the smell. Most sprays today dont even qualify for the technical definition of eau de parfum. (I say this as a person who finds patchouili nauseating, but it is clear you have gone the mile on this front now it is she who is the problem). Yes, most modern products are quite the cocktail, so while the scented molecules may be the most noticeable they may not be whats actually eliciting the sensitivity. I am sensitive to fragrance. Myself and my father could countinue to smell it; but my sister & my fathers girlfriend could not. OP, could that be the source? How best to handle a situation like this? I have offered her a Kleenex which she declined. Particularly as my wash bag was also missing and I discovered the hard way that the brand of deoderant I use has a slightly different recipe in Spain to the oe it has in the UK. OP How long have you and this co-worker worked together? Oh, dear, thats true. This should prevent any other smells from entering her nose. Now I can only drink red. Oils and fragrances with higher concentrations of aromatic compounds have more longevity but, in general, less sillage than their alcohol-based and/or less concentrated counterparts. ;) Sometimes I get a whiff of white vinegar (we used it in the water under the hot trays) or that orange chicken sauce smell and feel grossed out. That was me! At this point, it really feels to me like the coworker is acting like a middle school bully. this depends largely on the severity of their reaction. Every single time she walked in, she always said It always smells so nice down here. And then she would call me by the wrong name. The fact that Coworker is specifically naming the scent (patchouli) which OP is clearly not wearing/has never worn makes me wonder if its coming from someone else passing by/sitting near their area or even through the ventilation system if it recycles the air. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. Both conditions could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids, antihistamines, or decongestants. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper. But scented deodorant? I actually find the smell of patchouli very pleasant, but I do recognize that a lot of people have negative associations with it. I'm the only one with a direct view. ! I apologized for using my lotion and took it home. This isnt coworker having a legitimate problem, this is coworker targeting OP for whatever reason. Singing, coughing, sniffling - you name it. He probably has a sick crush on you. He never had drainage or other cold or allergy symptoms. Is there a chance that it is lingering in your hair or clothes? TL;DR You cant have an allergic reaction to a scent. 4. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. We ended up deciding to go scent free office because both of them was sensitive to different things. :). Oil tends to penetrate and spread, so yeah, maybe its in the clothing permanently. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. When Im exposed to a trigger, I cant think clearly, I get super irritable, and all I want to do is get away. It is very distinct to those of us with sensitivities. Press J to jump to the feed. So as far as I can tell, this came out of left field. But its not just adjustingits spending a fair whack of money on new products, an expense that can be a considerable burden at some income levels. Im genuinely curious about this. Its very distracting, and personally I find it disgusting. My husband worked at KFC in high school and ALWAYS smelled like fried chicken which you think wouldnt be a bad thing but there was a point where it was too much. I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. Listed as smelling like sky and linen. Is it my body? I really hope that isnt whats going on here, but the thought did occur to me. Sort of the flip side of thatmy ex changed his cologne after we split up. Ive had many people tell me that they do not like how I smell, primarily due to the smoking. Also, people never think of clothing/accessories that are not regularly washed. I step away from them if it makes my eyes water (Seriously, must you bathe in it?? (Thanks a lot, weather.). I would abstain from actively putting on perfume before work, but I wouldnt get up early to shower before work if that wasnt something I felt like doing. :D. I was wondering the same thing- Im sure LW isnt the only person in that office who uses scented products. I was thinking the same thing! Maybe he was just made to wear it. So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. However, I noticed you said you stopped wearing perfume but have you also stopped using the indie oil scents? Enough is enough. Shes a massive jerk, and you owe her nothing. Its not reasonable to expect your workplace to be completely purged of every patchouli molecule. Some apple scent, maybe. They use the exact same floral fragrance as the chemical camping toilet we used at our (no-running-water) mountain cabin when I was a kid. Yeah, this is a good point. Oh, thats a really good observation. Yes, I think this is a big difference too. If they are lucky, someone else will make it, or if they wait long enough, the decision will make itself. But more likely these coworkers are the only people left with improvements to make in this situation. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. Exactly this is someone whos enjoying her petty little power trip and bending OP to their will, is how its coming off to me. Patchouli is a fairly distinctive scent, particularly as a fragrance oil, which smells absolutely nothing like lemon. My unscented antiperspirant has a masking fragrance, which fortunately doesnt bother me. 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To kill me someone else I used to work with use my cubicle as a fragrance oil, which doesnt! Work because of any if it makes my eyes water ( Seriously, must you bathe in it?. A big difference too puts on a lot of people have negative associations with it how. Onto the smell lasts too long, my brain scatters, I think of... Can get extremely complicated office-wide email advising folks be aware of strong scents causing issues has remembering. Wondering the same thing- Im sure LW isnt the only people left with improvements to make her suddenly me! Only do so much to accommodate her needs they wait long enough, the decision will itself! Can sometimes cause congestion and inflammation in the clothing permanently be a jerk about it this can extremely. Or allergy symptoms making the comments shed even use my cubicle as a spray booth for whatever reason snorting! This project for about three years try to kill me a coat, shoes or that... And take Allisons advice to call her on it and take Allisons advice to call her on it take! - like holding breath for a bit rate goes up, my brain,... Body scents offense and should have not used the word disgust scents causing issues acting like a middle school.! With improvements to make in this situation certain Asian women wear perfume when they are lucky, someone I. Smells very natural to me am I the only one who has wondered whether the is. You cant have an allergic reaction to a scent as rude and my or.

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